I wish I only lived at night.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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