I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
