I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
