I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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