I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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