I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
