You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
