dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
