We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Are we still banned from the library?
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
