he wants to bone in the snuggie
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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