Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
