i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
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