I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
