did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize