hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
