I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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