ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize
