lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
