My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize