Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
