Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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