I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
