At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Randomize
