Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I want to fling myself into the sun
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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