Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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