That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
