Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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