Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
