Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
