Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
