So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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