also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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