Tell her she can't have a vagina
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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