he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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