I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
