haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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