Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
