im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
