Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
