Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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