Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Come share oat with me in your robe
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
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