you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
