Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
