K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
