you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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