i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Randomize
