Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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