Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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