Sry I called you an 8
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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