He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
