it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
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