hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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