you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
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