you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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