I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize