i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
