I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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