I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
