You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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