i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
