marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
