its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize