I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
You ate ashes out of my bong
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
